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sniffing:

iOS 7 more like iOS 7% of my battery left.

(via orgasm)

gnarly:

me: *first one finished when eating with friends* 

me: *still hungry*

me: *looks at friends food* 

me: “you gonna fuck dat up?”

(via hotboyproblems)

colfersaurusrex:

I couldn’t care less about your religion or sexual orientation or race or whether you’re a virgin or have slept with 400 people or have done time in jail

but the moment you eat my leftovers without asking that’s when i decide you’re a terrible person

(Source: rexuality, via orgasm)

deaththreat:

The best kind of alcohol is a lot.

(via givingblowjobs)